<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Repercussions by Howlingdawn</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777986">Repercussions</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/pseuds/Howlingdawn'>Howlingdawn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Guilt, M/M, Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:40:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>822</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howlingdawn/pseuds/Howlingdawn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos was given a choice.</p>
<p>He, TK, and Owen pay the price.</p>
<p>
  <i>(Whumptober Day Two - "Pick Who Dies")</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Michelle Blake &amp; Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star), Owen Strand &amp; TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020 [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Whumptober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Repercussions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Long time, no Lone Star. I'VE MISSED THEM. So of course I hurt them. Enjoy! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Go talk to him,” Michelle said.</p>
<p>Lingering – hiding – at the back of the crowd of funeral-goers, Carlos shot yet another glance at TK. He was up front, of course, doing his best to put on a brave face, but even from far away, Carlos could see him crumbling inside. Judd, Marjan, Paul, and Mateo stuck to him like glue, gathered around him like his own miniature army.</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t even be here,” Carlos muttered.</p>
<p>“That’s ridiculous.”</p>
<p>“I’m the reason Owen is-”</p>
<p>He cut himself off, still unable to believe it. Still unable to believe his failure.</p>
<p>
  <em>Pick who dies.</em>
</p>
<p>He would never forget that ultimatum. He could still hear TK’s pleas during their captor’s countdown, hear those desperate words escalating to screams when he chose. He could still hear the sharp <em>bang </em>of the gunshot shattering TK’s world, could still hear the <em>thud </em>of Owen’s lifeless body hitting the ground.</p>
<p>And he could still hear the storm of rescue finally arriving just seconds too late, the door crashing down, officers shouting for the captor to drop his gun, someone screaming for a medic, TK’s sobs underlying it all, his pleas to shoot him turned now to begging his dad to wake up.</p>
<p>“I’m the reason TK’s even here,” he said instead.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Michelle agreed, “you <em>are</em>. Because if you hadn’t made that choice, we would be attending a funeral for <em>both </em>Strands right now. Maybe even you too.”</p>
<p>“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Carlos demanded. “Because I <em>know </em>that. But I also know that I had an opportunity to hand this case off to someone who could’ve solved it faster, or solved it at all instead of going to dinner at their boyfriend’s place.”</p>
<p>“Do <em>not </em>sell yourself short like that,” Michelle shot back. “I know who you are, Carlos, and I know you did <em>everything </em>you could. Sometimes, that’s just not enough. We <em>all</em> know that. I know it, you know it, Owen knew it, and TK knows it. It’s just a part of all of our jobs. People will die. And I think we all know that Owen was damn glad it was him instead of one or both of you.”</p>
<p>“I… I know,” Carlos finally relented, shoulders slumping. “But…”</p>
<p>“No,” Michelle said firmly, taking him by the arm and pulling him through the crowd. “No buts.”</p>
<p>Before he knew it, she was giving him a final shove, pushing him towards the firefighters. They had their backs to him, so he cleared his throat. “Hi, TK.”</p>
<p>The others turned around, but Carlos had eyes only for TK, watching his shoulders tense. “Carlos,” he greeted, his voice devoid of emotion.</p>
<p>Carlos bit his lip, his heart breaking at that emptiness, all too painfully reminiscent of the struggling shell of a man TK had been when they first met. “TK, I…”</p>
<p>But what could he say? They hadn’t spoken since that night. What could he possibly say that would even begin to make up for any of this?</p>
<p>He couldn’t find any words, and the silence was stretching on, so he did the only thing he could think of: He rested his hand on TK’s back.</p>
<p>To his surprise, TK didn’t flinch away.</p>
<p>Instead, he slowly turned around, taking Carlos’s hand even as he shook his head. “Don’t,” he said quietly.</p>
<p>“TK,” he tried, squeezing his hand, “I’m sorry-”</p>
<p>“I know,” TK interrupted, still quiet. “But I… I can’t do this. Not… not right now.”</p>
<p>Marjan laid a hand on TK’s arm. “Let him-”</p>
<p>“I will,” TK said. “I will. But today… I can’t look at you without seeing him die, Carlos. I just… I need space. Ok? I need some time.”</p>
<p>Carlos nodded, struggling to hold back tears. “I understand,” he whispered.</p>
<p>Hesitantly, TK leaned in, his free hand rising to find its familiar place in Carlos’s hair. Carlos closed his eyes, letting TK take this at his own pace no matter how much he wanted to take him in both hands and kiss their pain away, and when their lips finally met, oh so gently, his breath hitched, the first tear escaping to slide down his cheek, mingling with TK’s own. He returned the kiss with the same tenderness, running his fingers through TK’s hair, holding his hand against his chest for as long as TK would let him.</p>
<p>“I love you,” TK whispered, breaking apart just enough to say the words, leaving their foreheads touching.</p>
<p>“I love you, too,” Carlos said, filling the words with every ounce of love he could, wondering when – if – he would ever be able to say them again. “I’ll be waiting. Whenever you’re ready.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” TK breathed.</p>
<p>After one last moment together, he backed away, trailing his fingers along Carlos’s cheek, pulling his hand free.</p>
<p>The others tried to offer comfort, sympathetic looks, a reassuring shoulder squeeze.</p>
<p>Carlos just turned away, shouldering his way past Michelle and out the door.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>